Aug 26, 2014

Dear Ocee:

Category: Captain's Logs
Posted by: weedles
Ocee, this letter was supposed to have been delivered to you a long time ago, but it wasn't, so while you have learned many of these lessons on your own already, I will read the message to you anyway:  

          Dear Nameless Cat, you must realize that by the next half year, or the time you reach adult independence, you will be MY female, and your name will be MY female.  Until then, I will accept the burden of living with you...and sharing my food with you...and the furniture or, cars (pronounced Kh-ars).  After you reach adult age and I do not have the responsibility of watching you so often, I plan on writing my own blog.  And you will not be a part of it.  I do know, Nameless Cat, that while you have only just reached this new home, and have only been here for a few hours, that you have a personality that demands attention.  That kind of personality will want to get a part on my blog, but it is a useless attempt.  I will never let you write on MY blog.  Now that that is off my chest, I wanted to give you a head start in your young life.  A common mistake made by young cats is the mistake of calling our pets, owners, instead of pets.  I have told young cats this before, and it has never clearly sunk into their heads.  I will NOT go wrong with you, Nameless Cat, so:  Call your pets owners or bad things are gonna happen!  I think I said that nicely.  Nicer than I was going to say it anyway...  So now that I have explained everything of importance to you, I will let you learn the rest through years of trial.  I have high aspirations for you, Nameless Cat.  Goodbye.

-Shtankadoodle