Shtankadoodle's Online Diary

News

Oct 14, 2012

Looking beautiful!

Category: Captain's Logs
Posted by: weedles

I think Shtankadoodle has come to accept me on this blog now. Anyway, I'm cleaning up right now, as I got chased by some girl in the neighbor's yard a little while ago. Just look how beautiful I am today!

Yeah, I know what you're are thinking, you're thinking that I'm the most beautiful cat in the world. I wonder how I knew that? You're also probably wondering how I got such a beautiful coat? Oh it's not easy, I can tell you that!

If you want to be as beautiful as me, then get on top your swing–if you have one–and spend four hours a day licking yourself, every day. If you want some easy advice, get fired from your job. That's the easiest and most important step! Then, you'll have all the time in the world! Well, at least that whats I know from observing humans. Then you can lay in a bathtub for about four hours. You'll look beautiful in no time!

Of course, for the males reading this diary, you probably want to look more like Shtankadoodle. In that case:

  • Step 1. Go out in the ditch, roll around in the thorns and mud and stuff.
  • Step 2. From what I understand male humans don't protect their territory every night, but some males go to work at night, we'll refer to that. So, just before you go to work, rinse yourself off real quick.
  • Step 3. Then, in the morning, spend about an hour and a half in the bath tub.

Yes yes, I know your trying to thank me! However, there's no need for that, just keep doing your routine!

 Add a Review of this item 

Visual Captcha

News

Page 1 of 21  > >>

Oct 4, 2020
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

A hospital bed.  Wha…?  Why? Again?  Nugget’s bleary yellow eyes struggled to adjust to the brightness of the cold, concrete room he was being kept in.  A long row of hospital beds lined the endless, grimy wall, but his eyes were too unfocused to see them.  Instead, it was the smell of weak alcohol cleaner that told him exactly where he was. Nugget tried to push himself up onto his legs, but a sharp, stabbing feeling rent his stomach.

Jul 3, 2019
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

Button’s paws pressed against the iron door, supporting her as she stood up on her two hind legs and tried to peer down the long, narrow row of identical white cells.  The only thing different about each individual cell were the foul creatures that inhabited them, and really, Button thought, even they didn’t seem to vary much in size or demeanor.

Jul 6, 2018
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

Yet another addition to, "The Sun Always Shines On Lactolia."

May 15, 2018
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

Another addition to, "The Sun Always Shines In Lactolia."

Like usual, its so long that its painful! (But you know you can't resist reading it, anyway.)

Mar 6, 2018
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

Another addition to, "The Sun Always Shines In Lactolia."

Dec 16, 2017
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

An addition to, "The Sun Always Shines In Lactolia."

Nov 10, 2017
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

A spin off the of the much-loved "Star Cats" series.

Jun 2, 2017
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

The behind-wiggling sequel to 'The Big Dent' Part 1.

Nov 19, 2016
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles
With Captain Shtankadoodle's prized vessel now all-but-destroyed in a brutal comet collision, the crew (Shtankadoodle included) isn't certain what to expect on their return to earth!  Find out in: The Big Dent, Part I
Oct 1, 2016
Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles

As if the threat of a comet bound for the Solera Station didn’t seem looming enough, with the entire ship induced into a nervous, whispered panic, Subcommander Ocee could only keep from biting her claws and resisting the impulse to shrink away into a tight cranny—a box, a nook in the insulation, a raccoon trap—anything would do, really, to get away from this news:  Lieutenant Lucky had just confirmed that the comet everybody was worried about was only seventeen minutes from impact.