Apr 15, 2013

The Stowaway (Part 3)

Category: Star Cats
Posted by: weedles
Captains Log: I was sitting in my quarters drinking some mocha when the red-alert came on.  I don't like it when the red-alert comes on without my purr-mission, so I rushed to the bridge to see what was so big that my crew couldn't verify with me, FIRST.  (We are still holding that persuasive pea-brained Ocicat leader, Spot in our brig).

    "Captain, the alien ship has moved in front of us, and they have their weapons at full charge!"  Ensign Paws said.  I  was starting to feel bad for Ensign Paws--he was growing on me, and yet I knew he was going to get electrocuted by some…some bug that's never been heard of before, just because we enter an unknown nebula or something.  Maybe he would even be the only casualty when we get fired upon by this alien vessel.
    "Captain, is there a problem?" Subcommander Ocee asked very calmly once I had stood there on the bridge for a solid minute quietly contemplating Ensign Paws' death.  I shook my furry head.
    "Uh no nothing at all, what is the problem?" I said.
    "Well, as Ensign Paws just explained, the alien vessel has us cornered because its weapons are at full charge," Subcommander Ocee said, calmly.  There were two important things that made me want to punch something or somebody on the Bridge by the way that sentence was worded:  1) Most important, was that apparently NOBODY understood that space has a 3rd dimension!  You aren't cornered, when you can go UP.  2) Not as important, but it really ticked me off, that sickening calm in Subcommander Ocee's voice.  Anytime that she replied so calmly, I hear in my head, "Ocicats have no feelings when they're on duty…Blah, blah, blah-".   I am SO sick of that mantra.  What do you mean that you have no feelings?  Everyone has feelings!!!
         "GO UP!!!" I shouted.  I didn't mean for it come out that way, but I was angry by how calm, my Subcommander was.  No, I wasn't jealous, I was outraged!  Why was it that Ocicats always had to "have no feelings on a starship!". Probably just to annoy their captains off.  Anyway, me being so stern really got the job done, and by what would usually take twenty minutes to charge the warp-core up only took about 10 seconds.  I was wondering why most the time it took twenty minutes.  Then it all came back to me, Ensign Mew-Mew having to go check on the warp-core, and Ensign Tailer (Taylor) was always working with him supposedly because she knew the most about the warp-core.  Our new Doctor, Fur-rank (Frank) saying he needed to get a specimen from the cafeteria when later I saw him munching on the lol-cat special "Noms".  It made me wonder if my crew was using me for anything I didn't know about.  I let my fluffy tail drape through the hole in the back of the captain's chair, and sat down.
    "Captain, there is some major interference, and I can't keep the ship on main-screen any longer!" Subcommander Ocee said,  calmly.
   
    "Captain, their moving up, and we are losing the particle beam that our shuttle pod put on their forward bow!"  The Furr-engi, Meager, tells his captain.
    "What?! Impossible! Nobody ever goes up when we are stealing all the Toon-aah (tuna) off their ship!  It's, It's…It's…unheard of!" The captain, with a curly, pierced ear shouts.
    "Well-Well..Well they're doing it!" Meager says, nervously.  The Captain's eyes got big.
    "They must have more of a brain than I assumed they did.  Alright, I-I'll take a challenge!" the Captain files his nails.  "Okay you, fools, get a better particle beam on them!" as the wild Captain shouts orders, the screen turns dark.
   
    "Captain, we have a parasite on our forward bow again!" Subcommander Ocee shouts.  I smile for two reasons, 1) Was because I had actually heard Subcommander Ocee shout, and 2) Because I had just read a tactical report that the alien ship was stealing all our tuna from our cargo bay, and I now had a trap set for them.
    "Deploy the force-feild!" I shouted.
    "Aye-Aye, Captain!" Ensign Paws said, victoriously.  We soon had trapped the shuttle pod and pulled it in with our high-tech newly equipped tractor beam.  We had some questions to ask.

    As soon as I saw the alien species, I plopped on the floor and burst out laughing.  They were all brown from head to paw; they had little stubs for whiskers;  and they had super curly ears.  I just couldn't help but laugh-- it was probably bad relations, and meant that they wouldn't join the Alliance (The group of all the species that joined/be-friended Star-Convoy) anytime soon, but who would want these funny things to join the Alliance?

      After some hard-core questioning, we were able to get somewhere.
    "What's your Mom's favorite kind of dessert?" Ensign Paws asked, daringly holding a feather near his stomach.
    "I've had enough of this, Eager!" The Furr-engi seemed to shout at Spot.  "Take off your mask!" We all stood dumb-founded as Ocicat Leader, Spot, ripped off a pair of glasses with a fake nose attached to it.
    "Spot is a Furr-engi?" I asked, kind of hoping that I might become the new ruler of Ocicat World now that it was figured out Spot was a hoax.
    "Well, this one is.  You see, we have a leak into Star-Convoy and figured out that this would be a great opportunity to steal your toon-ahh (tuna) so we bought a five dollar mask from the store and infiltrated the Cat-Nip.  We have 23% of your toooo-nahh (tuna), now!" the tricky Furr-engi said.
    "Well, where's the leak?" I asked, quietly.
    "Oh, it's in Section 4, room 6, under the wall panel, in the---Hey! Why should I tell you?!" The Furr-engi said with a smirk.  Just then, the Furr-engi grabbed Ensign Paws by the throat and held him hostage (My fifth assumption on something that would happen to him).
    "If you want him alive, you're going to have to let me go!" The Furr-engi said, holding a weapon to his head.
    "Well, I don't want him alive!" I said, rolling my eyes.  The Furr-engi's eyes grew big, and so did Ensign Paw's.  The Furr-engi loosened his grip as if he were stunned, and Ensign Paw's body tensed.  That was my time to strike,  and I punched the furr-engi in the stomach and got my ensign out of his grip.  Who knew?   Maybe Ensign Paws would become a regular on Star Cats.
   
    We sent the report to Admiral Meowsers, and with the information gained, he was able to find the leak.  We were also able to get The Ocicat High Command to help us tractor beam the ship to Star Convoy Head-quarters.  He was so happy that I discovered a new species, he invited me to have tea with him.  (A true honor).
    "We discovered Ocicat Leader, Spot, on the planet, Furisa, enjoying a sunny vacation.  He was never in peril, and yes, the whole thing, urgent orders and stuff, was definitely a hoax, but we were able to recover your stolen tuna."  My idea of becoming the new Ocicat Leader went down the drain,  "You did very well, Captain Shtankadoodle, but you not caring for your ensign's well being will have to be in your permanent files," Admiral Meowsers said, sternly.  I smiled.
    "That's alright, because he's my ensign!"  My tail lowered down into the hole in the back of chair as my kitty-cat grin grows larger .